Showing posts with label Indonesia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indonesia. Show all posts
I'm Really Going (& how you can help)
It’s an odd phrase to let slip from your lips, even when I
probably repeat it near-daily:
“I’m really moving to Indonesia.”
Yeah,
I’m really getting on a plane at the beginning of January
and moving to an island among 17,000 others on the other side of the world.
I’m really moving to a country that, according to a quick google
search, is known for beaches, volcanoes, coffee, Komodo dragons and jungles sheltering
elephants, orangutans and tigers.
I’m really moving to a predominantly Muslim area,
really learning the Indonesian
language,
really learning to
live and work and thrive there.
I’m really spending the next year and a half with a group of
about six children, teaching multiple grades and multiple subjects.
And I’m really convinced
that this is exactly where God wants
me.
As this semester began and I was transitioning from full
time student to full time teacher, I got a text from Sarah. She asked me to
meet her for coffee, and before we even met I knew this could be the answer I had
prayed for.
And then as we sat down and started talking over warm drinks,
Sarah laid out their family’s need for a teacher, their heart for the nations,
their plans to return to Indonesia in January—and an invitation to join them. I
listened, and I realized this is it. This
is exactly what God has been preparing me for all along. From the moment I decided
that yes, I’ll go, I have so clearly
seen the way that all these mismatched pieces of my story are beginning to fit
together, the way they were meant to all along.
Yet as you can imagine, though I’m fully convinced that
Indonesia is where I’m meant to be, there are mixed emotions. This is a big deal—and
many days, it can be a scary thing. To move to other side of the world, knowing
almost no one, embracing a completely different culture—who am I kidding, even
just getting there is scary.
Without this being a paid position, there will be quite a
few things that I need to raise funds for—for one, airfare to get there; visa
expenses to stay there; insurance and other necessary expenses to survive and
thrive there. It all comes out to be about $550 / month – or $10,000 for the 18
months that I’m in Indonesia.
Would you consider helping in this? If you’re here reading
this, I know that it’s likely because you know me personally through my church,
my school, my parents, or some other connection. And I don’t take that lightly—I’m
so thankful for this community. I’ve seen and experienced the incredible beauty
of the body of Christ. Community is a powerful thing, and it’s such a good gift
that God has designed.
In this, as with many things in life, I legitimately cannot
do it on my own. I need Christ’s body. So as humbling as it is, I’m asking for
help. I’m daily praying that God provides—and
I know He will, because I know this is where He wants me.
You can give here (just write “Molly Barron, Indonesia” in
the comments section), or talk with me personally about other ways.
Even if you can’t give, and even if you can—please pray? I
won’t pretend that this is an easy journey—there have been days where this has
felt impossible, felt overwhelming, felt like it’s too much. I’m convinced that
this is exactly where God has been leading me for a long time now, but even
still, I need His grace to keep moving forward in this. It’s a scary thing to
realize that in less than 80 days I’ll be away from everything familiar,
settling into a new normal. It’s scary and exciting all rolled up together, and
it brings emotions with intensity that I’m not used to dealing with. So pray?
Pray that I’d be strengthened to keep going. Pray that God will provide the
funds I need to move. Pray that once I’m there I’ll be effective and useful to
Him.
I still am in complete disbelief at my Father’s kindness in
bringing me here. It’s going to be quite the journey as I follow Him to
Indonesia. I’m excited to see what the next years hold, how I’ll learn and
grow, how I’ll experience more of the beauty of Jesus.
Also worth mentioning:
you can subscribe to this blog, the best way that you’ll hear updates about
this move. Any new blog posts will slip into your inbox so that you never miss
one and so that you’ll remember to pray.
Worth It All
If we had met for coffee seven months ago, the last time I was in this space on the internet, I would have told you that I had my life figured out. I knew, at least generally, what I wanted to do and where I wanted to do it. I knew who I would be with and how I would spend my life, and that was that. It was as good as done forever, in my mind. Though I didn’t see it at that time, my hands were tightly clenched around my idea of my best-case-scenario. Though I never would have admitted it, it didn’t really matter to me what God thought was best for my life—I was convinced that my plan was God’s best, because it was my best. I wanted what I wanted. End of story.
Except, mercifully, it isn’t the end of the story.
This afternoon, if we had met for coffee, I would’ve been
stifling yawns and wiping the remains of a second grader’s lunch from my pants
(evidently he didn’t see me standing there?). I would’ve told you how much I
love spending my day with 25 seven year olds, how I love teaching in a
classroom, how I’m thriving. (I also would’ve admitted that that’s something I never would have expected to come out of
my mouth—though I know the entire rest of the world is convinced that I was born to teach; I just never wanted that for
myself, until now.) Just as I would have at the beginning of the year, today I
would tell you about my plans for the future, or at least for the next eighteen
months. Yet I can guarantee that there would be a change in me as I shared my
heart.
Maybe the change is subtle, maybe it’s something that only I
notice. But I look back and I can trace so
clearly how God has led, how he’s grown and matured and shaped me over this
season. It’s been hard—the hardest months I’ve experienced in my life. But
they’ve genuinely been some of the best months I could ask for, because God
slowly and gently pried my rigid hands from their grip on my life and the plans
I had made. Over the past months I've slowly realized the
deep beauty of Jesus, and how He’s better than everything—even my
best-case-scenario.
And I’ll be honest with you: this was not an easy process. Surrender isn’t easy—especially when you’re giving up the things you love most. Especially when you don’t know how this will turn out. Especially when we’re talking about saying goodbye forever to a serious relationship. Especially when you’re walking away from the beautiful plans you laid out for your life, and stepping into unknown, difficult, and different. It’s been a season full of tears, full of deep hurt and pain and rejection.
It’s been full of days pleading with God for a different way forward, and full of nights crying out to Him
for comfort and healing. There’s been a lot of confusion. A lot of tears. I’ve
walked through so many changes. I spent a summer in a new role, doing something that shoved me so far out of my comfort zone as I worked as coffee shop manager + camp photographer/videographer. I’ve experienced most of the core relationships
in my life shifting, changing, or ending. I’ve entered an entirely different (last)
semester of my undergrad career, teaching in a real classroom in a public school. I’m moving forward with big plans for life after graduation. It’s
busy and exhausting at best, overwhelming and crushing at its worst.
But through every bit of the struggle, I can sit here today
and tell you, with complete confidence: it’s been worth it all. Worth every
moment of pain. Through the stress and the heartache and the confusion, Jesus
is better. He’s faithful. He’s worth it. I wouldn't change a thing about this season, because it's drawn me closer to the heart of the Father, more deeply in love with Jesus, more in tune to how the Spirit is working.
Though it looks drastically different than my own
best-case-scenario, God has been working His
best for my life.
And for the next year and a half, it’s taking me to Indonesia.
Yeah, you heard me right: at the beginning of the new year, I’m up and moving my life to Indonesia for eighteen months. I'll live and work
alongside a really great family. I’ll be teaching their children and soaking in
all I can about life in Indonesia. (Bring on the culture shock and everything I love about that Southeast Asian culture.)
It’s both unexpected and yet not at all surprising. I'll perhaps share more specific information (including how you can support me!) in the coming days, but really? This is all just to say that though this was
not in my own plans—to be single, to move halfway across the world for over a
year, to spend my days teaching, to step out confidently into a big, often scary unknown— I’m immeasurably thankful that this is in God's plans. I'm thankful that my God didn’t leave me to
my own, broken way and call it the end of the story. I’m thankful that He
gently stepped in to help me release my hold on my life, though at times I came kicking and screaming. I’m thankful that He opened my
blind eyes to His beauty, showing me that He’s worth it all. I never would be here on my own— it's all because of the kindness of my Father.
I’m glad to be back in this space on the internet, sharing my heart more often.
I’m thrilled for what the coming months hold in Indonesia.
I’m so, so excited to see how God moves.
It’s worth it all, just to know Him more.
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