my favorite psalm is psalm 73 . it's during weeks like these that i remember why .
verse 26 ?
"my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever ."
yeah, i feel that . every single part of it . i end every day seeing how i've failed . i've seen how my flesh and my heart and my friends and my expectations have let me down yet again and my only hope is that second part .
but God .
i remember an evening at camp when we were writing with chalk on the road, helping the kids with memory verses . one asked "why are those words 'but God' so much bigger than the rest ?"
and a counselor answered : "because every time you see who we are as humans, you see how much we fail and fall short . but then you see these two little words together and everything changes . every time those two words are present, it proves God's faithfulness and love in spite of who we are ."
he's right . i fail . i get sick, i get lonely, i react in impatience and anger .
He doesn't fail . ever . He's constant, always with me, lavishing mercy and kindness every moment .
i fail . i get weak and distracted and lose focus .
but God . he doesn't fail . he gently leads me back, holding my hand, guiding me .
he gives me strength . and that strength ? it's the secret to facing anything .
"in any and every circumstance, i have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need : i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ."
and this, like most things these days, reminds me of camp as well . that last week where everything fell apart and i was at my end ? yeah, this verse came in . it was the final game . the last game of the entire summer . the pressure was on and every one of us felt it deeply . i was ready to quit when i heard it :
"i can do what ?" "ALL THINGS" "through who?" "CHRIST" "who strengthens who?" "ME!"
the counselors on my team got the entire campsite to cheer this verse as we finished the game . who cares if we won, we finished this game and we did it because we had the King of Kings with us . it changed the day for me .
the cheer was in repeat the rest of the game . the rest of the day . in the weeks since .
i can't survive this week, this sickness still here, these deadlines looming . but i can do all things, yes even this through Christ because he's strengthening even me .
it changes everything . because the best thing for me is for me to be near God . always . and in all things, Christ is with me . he's here strengthening and helping and guiding .
so i can't do this, but God . He can do this .
